


i don't wanna run for cover

by orphan_account



Category: Ariana Grande (Musician), Little Mix (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M, Gen, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Original Character Death(s), Past Character Death, basically niall and ariana are married w twins and own a cafe, oh and it's super angsty I'm sorry, theres a happy ending i PROMISE, they're friends w everyone else
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 19:47:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9673367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It's moments like these, he thinks, that he wishes he could immortalise forever. His wife looking at their daughter with an expression of such love it breaks his heart.





	

**Author's Note:**

> so this is what I do instead of law assignments.

i don't wanna run for cover

This was not how Niall had bet on his day going.

It had started as every Monday for the last four years had - up at six to take the bread delivery (well, six fifteen. It's difficult to talk himself into getting out of bed when Heidi is asleep on his chest, Nathan snoring between him and Ariana), lights and heaters on by six thirty, cafe door open by seven. Ariana has quietly slipped down by then, eyes sleepy and coffee in hand, given him a gentle kiss in greeting before checking on the cakes she'd baked the night before.

And like every Monday for the last four years, the twins had been taken off to nursery, and customers had started trailing in - professors and students looking for a caffeine fix while marking papers and drafting coursework.

Niall and Ariana take and serve the orders, smiling warmly at everyone who passes through, asking how their day is, how uni is going, if they want anything else. Niall gently presses his fingers to Ariana's hip whenever they're both at the sink or she's in front of him when he's reaching for something, and Ariana leans into his touch as she always does. It's like they barely notice they do it anymore. It's nice. It's an easy day.

Right up until Liam Payne, the Psychology teacher, more or less crashes through the door at the end of the day when everyone has filtered out, and Niall is wiping down tables while Ariana is picking up the twins.

Niall starts from where he's stood, leaned over a table with his sleeves pushed up. Liam struggles with his scarf, and bloody hell are his hands shaking?

"Alright, Payno?" Niall frowns, straightening up.

"Yeah," Liam babbles. "Well, no, actually. Niall, I think I'm in love."

And, well. He doesn't expect that.

Niall flips the shop sign to _Closed_ and makes them tea (Yorkshire, strong, three sugars for both of them). Liam is still fidgeting, sugar sachets being rolled between his fingers. Niall plucks them away before they tear and spill.

"So," he begins. "You're in love."

Liam has the audacity to actually glare at him. "Don't start."

"Oi, you said it, not me."

Liam sighs. "You've met the new Art History teacher, right?"

Niall frowns and thinks back the many times Liam and Harry have introduced him to other professors at the university, tries to conjure up a face.

"Pakistani, great hair, looks like a Gucci model?" Liam prompts.

"Who looks like a model?" Ariana chimes from behind them. "And why have we closed?"

"Daddy!"

Niall automatically turns from the table and opens his arms for Heidi and Nathan to jump into. They scramble up, cold little hands on his face and neck. "Oomph, alright you two," he laughs, drops kisses onto both their heads.

"Hi, Liam," Ariana comes round the counter to pat his arm.

"Ari," Liam answers fondly.

"Where's my hello?" Niall feigns offence, pouting until Ariana rolls her eyes and kisses him.

"Yuck!" Heidi squirms between them, pushes at her mother's chest. Ariana laughs, chooses to sit next to Niall with an arm around his shoulder instead.

"So who is Liam calling Gucci?" She enquiries again.

"New Art History teacher. Reckons he's in love," Niall tells her, frowning as he untangles Heidi's hair.

"Again?"

"I'm literally sat right here," Liam complains.

"Well, no offence, Liam, but your love life is a joke," Ariana deadpans, and Niall actually laughs. "Weren't you in love with, who was it again, that nursing student -"

"Sophia," Niall chortles.

"- Sophia, like, a month ago?"

"Six months ago," Liam mumbles, flushing.

"Who is it this time, anyway?" Niall asks, taking another gulp of tea.

"The Art History teacher, I told you -"

"A _name_ , Liam."

Liam ducks his head. "Zayn Malik."

Oh. _Oh_.

It's quiet for a long drawn out moment, so much so that the twins get bored and squirm off Niall's lap to go upstairs. Ariana sighs, rising to follow them. She pats Liam's hand sympathetically. "I'll be down with more tea, honey." ( _honey_. She's so American.)

She very pointedly gives Niall a _be nice_ look, and he almost sticks his tongue out at her. Almost.

"So you're gay?" Is all he blurts out once his wife is out of earshot and Liam hasn't stopped blushing for a solid minute.

Liam jumps. "No! I - bisexual, I think?" He sounds like he's about to cry. "God, I'm too old for a sexuality crisis."

"Nah, you're not," Niall says honestly. "Just never thought about it, have you? You like men and women, that's fair enough, and if you're just figuring it out now, that's alright too."

"You'd be a terrible motivational speaker," Liam mutters, but his expression is grateful, and Niall takes that as a win.

"So," he continues. "Tell me about Zayn."

He's not entirely convinced Liam's really in love with a guy he's never even mentioned before, but from the way Liam's eyes light up and he smiles as he talks, Niall opts for the benefit of the doubt.

\--

Niall winds his arms around Ariana's waist while she pours over a cookbook against the kitchen counter. She smells of sugar and ginger and the perfume he'd bought her on their last anniversary and home. He kisses her neck.

"You okay?" She asks him, patting his arm. Niall hums into her collarbone, just enjoying the feel of her in his arms. "Frankie called, by the way."

That surprises him. "How come?"

Ariana scoffs. "Oh, my brother needs a reason to call me?" Niall squeezes her until she giggles. "Just wanted to see how we were. He misses the twins."

"Invite him over," Niall offers. She turns in his arms, his hands resting on her hips and her hands on his shoulders. "I miss him, too. Even his bloody pink hair."

Ariana laughs. "Sure he'll be glad to hear that."

Their foreheads rest together as she pinches his chin between her thumb and forefinger. "Liam's gonna bring Zayn by through the week."

Ariana hums. "He seems happy. Maybe Zayn will make him happy."

"You make me happy," he tells her because he can, just to watch her roll her eyes fondly and pretend not to blush. She kisses him, arms around his neck, lets Niall's hands wander up her shirt, cold hands squeezing her sides. They bump against the counter.

"Are you -"

Ariana cuts him off. "Yes," she says, too quickly. He frowns at her. "I know - I know what's coming up. I just -" she swallows. "I don't want to think about it, you know?"

Niall nods. He _does_ know. It's been in the back of his mind since the month had started, Joshua's anniversary suddenly so close again.

 _He'd be in school now_ is what he doesn't say, knows she's thinking about it too, knows she has the same ache in her chest he does whenever it strikes how long it's been, how much has changed.

He presses a kiss to her forehead. "I'll get the kids ready for bed." Ariana gives him a nod and smile as he pulls away from her to seek out the twins.

He find them in the pantry, cross-legged amongst shelves of vegetables and wine bottles, faces scrunched up in serious concentration as they attempt to assemble lego pieces together. Niall wishes he had a camera.

"Right, rascals, bedtime," he declares, scooping up Nathan. Heidi latches herself onto his leg, giggling. It takes them fifteen minutes to get up the stairs like that.

Niall clears away the lego while the kids brush their teeth, listens to Ariana counting to sixty before letting them spit into the sink. Nathan crows in victory. Heidi insists on a piggyback ride to bed, little arms clinging to his neck and face squished between his shoulder blades.

"I'm too old for this," Niall groans as he sits on Heidi's bed to let her crawl off. Ariana pulls a face at him from where she's sat with Nathan on her lap on his bed.

"Story?" Heidi asks hopefully, already under the duvet.

"Maybe tomorrow, sweetheart," Ariana says gently. "It's too late tonight, and you both have school tomorrow." She tickles Nathan's neck to punctuate her words, laughs when he squeals.

Niall tucks Heidi in, kisses her forehead and dropping eyelids. "Goodnight, princess."

"Night, da," Heidi mumbles, brown eyes closed, her breathing already evening out.

He repeats the same with Nathan, let's his son take his face between his hands and kiss both his cheeks. He chuckles. "Night, sunshine. Sweet dreams."

Once Nathan is tucked in, he looks over at Ariana, stroking a sleeping Heidi's hair. It's moments like these, he thinks, that he wishes he could immortalise forever. His wife looking at their daughter with an expression of such love it breaks his heart.

\--

It's Joshua's anniversary, and there's a knot in Niall's stomach that makes him retch. He can't eat, keeps drifting off in his head throughout the day.

Ari's much the same, watery-eyed and pale.

"We don't have to open," Niall had told her last night. "Tomorrow. We can close, say we're ill."

Ariana had smiled sadly at him. "It's alright. It's just one day."

It isn't, though.

It a list of days. Joshua's birthday, Joshua being diagnosed day, Joshua dying before he'd had a chance to live. A list of dates permanently etched in the back of Niall's mind. It's never been just one day.

He's so out of it that when Harry comes in after lecturing his Philosophy & Ethics class for a double cappuccino, he lays his hand over Niall's and quietly asks if he's alright.

Niall want to tell him, burns with it, but he smiles instead, says he's fine, just tired. "And what about you, Styles? How's Jade and the little ones?"

Harry is distracted, eyes lighting up as he describes the card Olivia made for him in school, about Jade's last scan. "Listen, don't want to sound pretentious or anything, but I think we're having a boy." He's giddy and almost childlike, both excited and terrified at the prospect of having another baby. Harry and Jade are both professors at the uni, him in Philosphy & Ethics and her teaching History.

"Harry?" Ariana appears behind Niall, shoulder pressed against his. "Hey, got Jade's donuts." She presses the box into Harry's hand.

"Ariana, you're a star," Harry says, relieved. "Dunno what it is about these donuts, she didn't have any cravings with Olivia."

Harry leaves with his coffee and Jade's donuts, promises to pass on their well wishes. Niall hangs up his apron, goes to the back room with his guitar and plays.

It's - almost a coping mechanism now, the guitar. When he needs to get out of his head for a few hours, when he can't sleep or he's had an argument with Ariana, he'll lock the door and play any song that pops into his head.

He'd played for days on end when they'd lost Joshua.

He's strumming out _A Team_ when Liam and Louis barrel in, joined by another dark eyed man Niall doesn't recognise.

"Horan!" Louis yells; Niall cringes. "Ari said you'd be in here. How're you, mate?" He clasps Niall's hand before flopping down next to him.

"Alright," he grins, setting aside the guitar. Liam and the man Niall presumes is Zayn sit on the opposite sofa. "What're you doing here so early, don't you have classes to be teaching?"

"There's a team building session on or summat," Louis waves him off. "Free for all. Not gonna complain."

"So you decided to invade us, then."

Liam laughs when Louis scowls. "Uh, Niall, this is Zayn," he says brightly, gesturing towards him.

Niall understands the Gucci model things now. _Could carve steak on those cheekbones_ , he thinks in awe.

"Ah, the Art History teacher Liam's been parroting on about," Niall grins when Liam flushes. Zayn shakes his hand, eyes amused. "How long you been teaching here, then?"

"Not long," Zayn answers easily. _Brummie_ , Niall notes. "Since September. Came from Manchester Uni."

"Fancied a change, then."

"Something like that." He reaches inside his jacket, producing a cigarette. "Am I alright to smoke in here?"

"Just open a window," Niall tells him, reaches over to do just that.

They stay in there for hours, talking and complaining about their classes ("I'm teaching Law to people who probably don't even know what _mens rea_ means," Louis grumbles) and occasionally reaching for Niall's guitar. Louis leaves to pick up Eleanor from work, and Heidi wanders in sometime after dark, toy unicorn clutched to her chest as she sleepily rubs her eyes. She climbs onto Niall's lap and promptly falls asleep; Niall doesn't miss the joint looks of fondness on Zayn and Liam's faces.

"Guessing she's yours?" Zayn asks quietly.

Niall nods, carefully rearranges Heidi where she's splayed out on his chest into a more comfortable position. "Two of em, twins." Zayn's eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

"The other one's a handful," Liam chips in. "Her bother. Can't keep still for a second, that one."

Niall frowns. "Alright, Payno. Don't see you running round after any kids."

Liam blushes, eyes downcast. Zayn laughs in a way that makes his eyes crinckle at the sides, so childlike it makes Niall's heart swell, and reaches out a hand to hold the back of Liam's neck and pull him into a sort-of sideways hug.

The small smile on Liam lips, the way Zayn ducks his head to mutter something in his ear that makes Liam laugh so hard Niall had to kick him in the shin to stop him from waking Heidi up - it's all so intimate, an area Niall knows he shouldn't be in. So he looks away, presses a kiss to his daughters forehead and ignores the way Zayn's hand doesn't move from where it rests in Liam's thigh, little fingers hooked together.

\--

Ariana flops on top of him while he's reading _1984_ , face nuzzled in his neck. Absently, he runs his fingers through her hair. "You alright?"

She huffs into his collarbone. "No."

Niall puts the book on the bedside table and shifts them up into a sitting position, so Ariana has her legs wrapped around his waist, face still against his neck. Niall rubs her back. "Tell me," he whispers into her hair.

"I don't -" she tries. "I can't - God, why does it still fucking _hurt_." Her hands fist Niall's shirt, and he holds her while she sobs, loud and angry.

"I know," Niall chokes against his own tears, arm wrapped tightly around Ariana's waist, one hand in her hair. "I know."

\--

Niall Horan hadn't wanted children.

Not back when he was newly-eighteen and staring a music scholarship in America, both terrified and excited at the prospect of being so far away from Ireland for the first time in his life.

Berklee College was home for those four years, and sometimes he finds himself missing Massachusetts; their vehement hatred of the Yankees he never completely understood, Dunkin Donuts being abbreviated to just 'Dunks', how the people there used 'wicked' as an adjective rather than an adverb (he still doesn't understand that, either).

He'd met Ariana in a music class; knew her voice before he knew her face. Sometimes he'd book in extra hours just to be able to hear her sing from down the hall, guitar resting in his lap. It wasn't until months later at a house party when he finally found the courage to actually talk to her he'd learnt she was from Florida, studying in Boston to be a musician. She'd had red hair, then, moved with more of clumsiness, and her eyes had been so bright as she gushed about her mother and grandparents and brother, excitedly told him what kind of music she wanted to make, the artist she wanted to be. He never stood a chance.

It was over drinks and coffee and sleepless nights studying and singing and playing guitar that he realised he'd fallen in love. And when she kissed him for the first time, during their last year of college - it _fit_.

Bobby and Maura hadn't approved of the elopement - he knew they wouldn't. Da had made a noise of disappointment while Ma quietly said she was looking forward to meeting her daughter in law, but really, Niall, you couldn't have waited a while?

He'd been twenty two, in love and terrified, stressing about not having a place to live, and fuck, he was only on a student Visa, could he even _live_ here? How long would that take?

"There're apartments up for rent near my mom's place," Ariana had told him a week before graduation. "If you're up for that."

He'd kissed her, relieved. "You know I am," he'd said, and she'd smiled in a way that made him feel like everything was worth it.

A month later, she'd told him she was pregnant.

It was - the best and worst time of Niall's life. They were both working two jobs to pay the rent, all he did was stress about his marriage visa going through and the damned waiting list, and suddenly he was going to be a dad.

They were young, their apartment was barely liveable, they barely had enough money to get by, but they were happy.

Joshua Robert Horan was born in fall, as the American's call it. His eyes were blue and his mop of hair was dark, dark brown, and Niall hadn't known until that moment he could love someone so much that it didn't feel like there was room for anything else.

(There's still a picture, in the back of his wallet, behind the one of Heidi and Nathan, of the first day they'd brought him home, asleep in his baby-carrier and so impossibly small. The photo is almost faded, now, plastic cover curling off and edges flimsy. Niall has no intention of taking it out.)

Neither Niall or Ariana can remember much of those first months, a blur of constant crying and sleep deprivation and diapers and spending more money than either of them had. Maura, Bobby, Greg, Denise and even little Theo came down for two weeks when Joshua was three months old, and Niall thinks that the moment he'd placed Joshua in his parents arms was the moment they'd finally forgiven him for the wedding.

When Joshua turned six months, Ariana noticed the bruising.

"Feel his head," she'd insisted, sat next to Niall in bed, Joshua in her lap.

"Ari -" he'd sighed, exhausted from work and convinced she was overreacting.

"I'm not overreacting," she took his hand and pressed it against their sons forehead. Joshua made a grab for Niall's fingers, squealing in delight.

And. Alright, he was warmer than usual. And the purple marks on his arms were too dark to be from either of them grabbing him a little too hard when he tried to crawl into places they couldn't reach.

So they'd taken him to the doctors, and it was all downhill from there. First it was blood tests - Joshua had screamed well into the night over them - and later a bone marrow biopsy that'd resulted in Niall and Ariana taking a fortnight off work.

Acute lymphoblastic leukemia, is what they were finally told, weeks later.

"Something interrupts normal cell development, resulting in blastic immature cells which affect the body in two different ways," the kind-faced doctor had said, her voice sympathetic. "Firstly, lymphocytes are made in the bone marrow, the spongy tissue inside the large bones of the body. But other vital blood components are made there, too — red blood cells needed to carry oxygen to tissues, and platelets that are needed to stop bleeding through clotting. When immature lymphocytes crowd out red blood cell production, a child’s body doesn't receive all the oxygen it needs, and they may develop anemia. And when immature lymphocytes crowd out platelets, the child bleeds and bruises easily."

"And the second thing?" Niall had heard himself ask, not recognising his own voice.

The doctor continued. "The immature cells invade other organs, such as the brain, spinal cord, liver or spleen. They affect the development and function in these areas, too."

Ariana was whitefaced and shaking, hand frozen where it was hovered over Joshua's buggy and he'd been sucking on her fingers. Niall had felt detached, sitting there, his fingers twined with his wifes. Like he was watching from the outside looking in. It hadn't felt real, what the doctor was saying. That their son who was only starting out at life was dying.

It didn't feel real when he told his parents and brother that night, sobbing down the phone.

It didn't feel real when Ariana had pressed up against him in bed the night before the chemotherapy was due to start and pleaded. "Promise me something," she whispered, arms around his waist from behind. "When - when it gets worse, lets not push each other away."

"I promise," he'd answered honestly, shaking hands covering hers.

They'd practically lived in the hospital for those six months. Ariana's father - a man Niall knew didn't like him (the feeling was mutual, in all honesty) - stayed with them for a few days, offering distant sympathy. Joan had eventually told him to leave. "You're only making this worse for everyone," Niall had heard her say angrily. Edward was gone the next day, and Joan had hugged both Niall and her daughter hard.

"You didn't have to do that, mama," Ariana had whispered. Joan kissed her forehead.

"I know you mean well, Ari, but your father is useless is almost all areas of family," Joan had said bluntly. If Niall had the energy, he would have laughed.

Frankie was a tornado of pink hair and optimism in their life, and Niall had loved him for it. He was there for Ariana at times Niall knew he couldn't be; there's a difference between comfort from a sibling and comfort from a spouse. Niall understood that, still does, even if his and Greg's relationship has always been too frosty for hugs.

Chemo made Joshua lose weight, and that's when they'd felt themselves cave in.

"How can he lose weight?" Niall had practically screamed while Ariana had sat there with tears rolling down her cheeks. "He not even a year old, for Christ sakes, he's got no bloody weight to lose!"

The image of their son at eleven months old, in a hospital crib with wires and tubes attached to him, is permanently burned into both their memories. Niall had had to slip out and retch into a toilet more than once when it dawned on him that no, his son was not supposed to be that skinny, or that pale, or that tired.

Because at the end of the day, Joshua was still a _baby_ , their baby, and God knows he was trying to develop as one. Ariana had actually broke down and cried when Joshua had pointed at her with newfound excitement and shrieked "mama!"

It was - an attempt at normalcy, teaching him words and giving him picture books to stare in wonder at. He'd been pressed against Niall's chest, one day, when Joshua had pressed his hand against the picture book they were reading through and said "book". "Dada", "nana", and "key" (Frankie) followed that.

Joshua loved books. Everyday he wasn't in pain or being sick or having chemo, he'd prod whoever was nearest to him and shout "book!" ignantly.

What Niall and Ariana would give, now, to hear him shout that again, just so they could climb in beside him and read out loud, funny voices and all.

Joshua was put into a medically induced coma when the cancer had spread to his brain, and the hospital more or less told Niall and Ari they couldn't do any more for him, it was too aggressive.

Niall had wanted to scream, to punch someone, to break something, and he didn't doubt Ariana felt exactly the same. They didn't do that, though. They'd lay on the bed on either side of him, holding his hands and whispering how much they loved him, how brave he was, how strong he'd been.

Niall has been stroking his sons hair when they heard the flatline. Ariana curled a hand around his tiny hip and wept, body shaking, face against their sons shoulder. Niall couldn't do much else, felt like he was choking, a phantom pain across his entire body and all he could do was bury his face is Joshua's brown hair and sob.

They were like that for nearly an hour, crying and holding the body of their son before the bleary-eyed nurses quietly said they had to take him.

There aren't words, losing a child. It's like a tether that you hadn't realised was holding you down has suddenly been severed, grief crushing everything inside of you.

Ariana had collapsed and screamed when they'd wheeled his body down to the morgue, and Niall covered her, arms tight around her waist as she wailed and he cried into her hair. They'd sat on the floor for hours, crying and breathing together, trying to use one another as the tether they'd suddenly lost.

\--

"I fucking hate Halloween," Niall declares, voice muffled by the towel.

"No you don't," Ariana shoots back fondly, pulling the towel off his damp hair. She grimaces when he shakes it out, swipes off the droplets that land on her face. "You volunteered for the apple dunking, remember?"

"Didn't bloody know Louis would dunk _me_ underwater though, did I?" Niall grumbles, earning a swat from his wife.

He'd thought it'd be a good idea to host a mini Halloween party with their professor friends and kids this year, and is now regretting said decision. The twins had thrown tantrums over their costumes, which had only been resolved with sweets and the promise they could stay up late because it's a weekend. Zayn and Liam had shown up together and Louis had very loudly said "you can't expect me to stay sober with the sexual tension between these two, Niall." Eleanor had saved Niall the job of whacking him.

Liam put everyone to shame with his damn Batman costume, breast plated and all. Zayn's a vampire, although he'd only lasted fifteen minutes with the fake fangs before his jaw ached. Louis is Superman, which started the usual argument with Liam. Harry's Jon Snow, proudly showing off the sword and cloak that'd probably cost three months wages. Jade's wearing a red t-shirt with "Thing 1" across her chest and "Thing 2" on her stomach that's so big now Niall is half terrified of her going into labour in their living room. Eleanor is Dorothy, but the dress is so thin Louis had given her his jacket to wear over it.

Niall hasn't made much of an effort, just ordered a white and red striped jumper and hat from Amazon.

(" _Where's Waldo_?" Ariana had raised her eyebrows, amused. "Really?"  
"It's _Wally_ ," he'd shot back, insulted. "I forget how bloody American you are.")

Ariana can hardly complain about him not trying when she's only in a black dress and heels with cat ears on her head. They're in the kitchen, Niall drying himself off after Louis had assaulted him playing duck apple by dunking Niall's head in the bowl when it was his go. Ariana had dragged him away before he could pour the whole thing over Louis' head in retaliation.

"Olivia Anne Styles!" Harry's panicked yell startles them, and Niall barely has time to react before a little body wearing plastic fairy wings barrels into the kichen at lightening speed. Ariana beats him to it, immediately scooping Olivia up into her arms.

"Okay, sweetheart," Ariana smiles, Olivia squirming against her. "What're you up to?"

Harry rushes in, cloak discarded and sword nowhere in sight. "Sorry. Think she's nicked something of yours."

"Ah," Niall laughs, spotting the wallet he'd left on the coffee table clutched in Olivia's small hand. He gently pries it out of her grip, Ariana quickly replacing it with a lollipop. "Thank you, Liv."

Ariana passes the five year old back to a still-flustered Harry, and Olivia pokes between his eyebrows when he frowns at her. Niall rolls his eyes when Harry visibly melts - Olivia has him wrapped around her little finger.

Jade comes in then, obviously wondering what chaos Olivia has caused. "Hi. What's my daughter done this time?" She enquiries. Niall waves his wallet at her in answer. Jade frowns at Olivia, whose now chosen to hide her face in Harry's neck.

"She didn't mean to!" Harry says quickly, eyes wide as he looks down at his wife. "It was on the coffee table, she didn't technically _steal_ -"

"Such a daddy's girl," Jade mutters. She turns back to Niall and Ariana. "Heidi and Nathan have disappeared, by the way. Think they're in the pantry."

Niall's out the door before she's even finished the sentence, just about catches Ariana asking Jade "how far along are you now, eight months? You look gorgeous!"

Heidi and Nathan are both in the pantry (Niall makes a mental note to invest in padlocks) sat with a heap of candy between them, apparently trying to even it out amongst the two of them.

Nathan spots him first. "Daddy! Do you want a sweet?" He holds up a packet of midget gems. Niall can't help but smile.

"In a bit, pet. Come on, let's get back to -"

A noise behind him makes all three of them jump, Niall immediately pushing the twins behind him as Liam and Zayn stumble in.

They're attatched at the lips, Liam's Batman mask nowhere to be seen. Zayn's hands are holding Liam's neck, Liam's hands on Zayn's hips as they attempt to manoeuvre themselves into the pantry.

Niall clears his throat. "Uh, excuse me lads."

It's almost comical how fast they jump apart. Zayn looks like a deer caught in the headlights, collar askew and fake blood smeared. Liam can't even look at Niall, flushed so red Niall's pretty sure he could heat an oven. Heidi and Nathan are giggling from where they're peering out behind their fathers legs.

"Don't take this the wrong way," Niall says slowly, fighting down a laugh. "But were you two about to get off in my pantry?"

Liam actually whines, slumps against a wine shelf with his face in shame. Niall does laugh then, so hard his sides hurt, and promises himself to save this one for their wedding.

Everyone starts to leave at about ten o'clock, Harry and Jade first when Olivia tires herself out, followed by Liam and Zayn (separate by half an hour - Niall gets another laugh in), and Louis and Eleanor last.

"Sorry about him," Eleanor says quietly as she's hugging Niall goodbye. "It's just - work stress, you know? Classes aren't going so well, he's in his head a bit too much."

"S'fine, El," Niall kisses her cheek. "Long as he's behaving himself for you."

They carry the twins to bed, Nathan dead weight in Niall's arms, Heidi cradled against Ariana's chest. He tries to undress Nathan as gently as possible so as not to jostle him awake, presses a kiss to his forehead once he's tucked in.

"I love you," Ariana says suddenly, back in their room, as Niall's pulling off his jumper. He looks up at her, surprised. She's sat on the bed, cat ears in hand and shoes off, hair pushed up a little at the front. She's frowning at him, like she trying to work out what's going on inside his head.

"I love you, too," he whispers back, tosses his jumper into the laundry basket before reaching for her.

He cups her face and licks into her mouth, lets her hands roam over his chest and back as he pushes her back against the bed. She lets him pull her dress off and toss it aside.

His hearts in his throat, and it's ridiculous, but it feels like their first time again as he's pulling off her underwear.

She's the one who reaches for his waitband, pushes down his jeans. He doesn't waste time, gets two fingers inside of her while clumsily reaching for a condom.

Ariana arches into him, moaning, eyes fluttering shut as he works her open, whines involuntary when he pulls his fingers out to roll the condom up himself.

It's easy, then, as it always has been, as it always will be. He pushes inside her with one thrust, sucks a lovebite onto the side of her neck. Her giggles quickly turn into gasps and moans when he thrusts in and out of her, keeping a steady rhythm. She reaches for the hand not on her waist, intertwines their fingers.

"Love you," she breathes again. "Love you, love you, love you."

He _feels_ so much, it threatens to spill over, makes him warm inside and God, he loves her, he loves her so much.

He tells her that in the same chant she'd started, and they're both coming then, tongues and fingers tangled, breathing their love onto each other's skin. It's so clean, so free.

"By the way," Niall yawns a few minutes later, arm slung over Ariana's naked waist as he lays beside her. "Zayn and Liam tried to get off in the pantry."

Ariana jolts up, yelping. "They did _what_?!"

\--

"I'm, like, ninety-percent sure you could get done for public indecency if the twins hadn't been in there and Niall had walked in like five minutes later."

"He could, actually."

"I fucking hate the pair of you."

Niall grins at the overheard conversation as he sets down their order. Liam has his face buried in his arms while Harry and Louis chortle at him.

"Mate, if I'd done that, I'd have barred the pair of you for life," Niall comments, sliding into the booth beside Liam and patting his back. Ari waves from the counter where she's showing a new recruit how to work the till.

"Can we _please_ talk about something else?" Liam begs.

"Nope," Louis smiles at Liam's scowl. "Jokes aside, though, are you two, like, official?"

"Lou, we're not _sixteen_ ," Harry says, exasperated. Liam blushes. Liam has been blushing a lot lately.

"Eh, I - I guess so?" He says it like a question. "I mean, we've been on dates -"

"I'm honestly insulted you skipped me out on these dates," Niall chips in. Liam kicks him.

"We've been on dates, and I'm going down to meet his sisters soon, but -"

"Woah, woah, woah," Louis splutters on his tea. "Meeting the family? Already?"

"It has been nearly a month, Louis," Harry informs him, cowering at the withering look Louis shoots him.

"Should I be renting out a suit for a wedding?" Niall asks, just to be a dick.

"Shut it," Liam kicks him again. "And anyway, didn't you and Ariana _elope_ while you were still in college?"

"Alright, now you're just deflecting," Niall argues.

"Niall and Ariana have a near perfect and established marriage, Payno. Don't even try," Louis says. Niall snorts, and they all frown at him. "What?"

"'Near perfect'?" Niall asks.

"It's true!" Harry insists. "The two of you are, like, what everyone else want with a partner, y'know?"

"Jade might have something to say about that," Liam mutters. Harry kicks him.

"Don't think so, mate," Niall says quietly, a tightening in his chest. "Wasn't always this way. We had - bad years."

They look genuinely curious now. "Go on," Louis prompts, leaning forward.

So he does. Crosses his arms on the table and tells them everything - about Joshua, the leukaemia, burying him. The move to New York, Niall landing a job in a studio recording guitar tracks for solo artists, Ariana being a full time vocal coach. Tells them about the stress-related miscarriage Ariana had two years after they lost Joshua, about the marriage and grief counselling, the independent therapy sessions. Tells them about the knee-jerk decision to move to England, to get _out_ , buying a bloody cafe, the IVF treatment once they felt ready again, the miracle twins and - "well, you know the rest."

He's been talking for nearly an hour, and his throat is dry. Harry's staring at him, agape. Louis looks like he's in shock and Liam has tears in his eyes.

"Mate," Louis finally says, "I'm so sorry."

Niall nudges his foot under the table, smiles sadly. "Thanks, Tommo. Was a long time ago, though."

"Still, losing a kid that young - that sucks, man," Louis sounds genuinely sincere. Niall just nods.

"You should write songs," Harry says suddenly. It startles a laugh out of Niall. "I mean - you and Ari love music, right, and - what you've just told us - sounds like you've still got too much in your head about it, so -"

"We did," Niall admits. "Write songs, I mean. After we moved to New York. Gave most of them away, though. Hurt too much to keep them."

"Dunno how you survived that," Liam says softly. "Both of you."

"Ari's the strongest person I know," Niall smiles sadly. "Think I was more of a wreck than she was, but - she's my rock, you know? Like, she makes me better, I make her better."

"Mutually beneficial relationship," Liam declares, raising his empty cup to Niall. Niall chuckles at him, and the tension between them disappears.

It's darkening outside when they start to leave, Niall's clearing the tables when Harry's phone rings.

"Hi, love, sorry, we're at Niall's -" Harry stops dead, one hand on the door. "Oh, _fuck_."

Niall frowns as Harry blunders on. "Shit, just - you've called the midwife, right? Is Leigh driving you there? I don't -" he looks up at Niall, Louis and Liam's bewildered faces. "Jade's water broke." He says weakly.

Niall's stomach drops, Louis' eyes widen and Liam yelps. "You need a lift?" He hears himself ask, tossing his apron over the counter and grabbing his coat and car keys from behind it.

Harry's panicking now, white faced, hands running though his hair and tugging at it as he tries to mutter words of comfort to his wife down the phone.

"We'll follow behind," Louis is all business now, grabbing Liam's arm and rushing them all outside. Harry puts the phone down with a stream of "I love you"s to Jade once she tells him Leigh's there.

"Where's Olivia?" Niall suddenly remembers the existence of Harry's eldest child.

" _Shit_ , she's in school -" Harry moans when they're in the car, Niall in the drivers seat. He looks like he's about to be sick.

"Head between your knees," he urges, reaches over to rub Harry's back when he complies. "Ari'll be on her way to pick the kids up, I'll tell her to get Liv too."

"Thank you," Harry's voice is muffled from where he's trying to breathe, forehead pressed against his knees.

\--

"You've got Liv?" Niall asks as soon as Ariana picks up the phone.

"Liam text me," Ariana assures him. "She's fine, took her and the twins for a walk, she told everyone we saw she's gonna be a big sister soon." He can hear her smile. "How's Jade?"

"Probably breaking Harry's hand right now," Niall says truthfully. "Don't think I've ever seen him this scared, not even when Liv was born."

"Second child," she tells him. "He's so used to Olivia being a five year old he's probably terrified of forgetting how to look after a newborn."

"He won't, though," Niall frowns.

" _We_ know that," Ariana insists. "And he'll know soon enough." Niall hums in agreement. "I'm gonna make them something to eat now. Are you staying in the hospital for the night?"

"Think so. Liam and Louis are."

"Livvy can share with me tonight then. Call me if anything happens, alright?"

"I will," Niall promises. "Same to you. If you need anything. Love you."

"Love you too," she says warmly. "See you tomorrow."

\--

Isaac James Styles is born at three am the next morning, making use of his tiny lungs. He's got his mother's brown eyes and his father's wide nostrils and Niall gets a lump in his throat watching Harry, eyes huge with wonder, hold him for the first time.

"Don't you both have classes to be teaching?" Jade asks Louis and Liam sleepily, eyes trained to her husband and son sat next to her.

Louis kisses her forehead and Liam squeezes her hand. "We'd rather be here, love."

Ariana shows up after taking the twins to school, holding Olivia's hand. Olivia sits against Harry's chest, baby brother in her lap. "Tiny," she whispers in awe, letting Isaac catch her finger in his tiny hand. Harry chokes on a sob.

Niall and Ariana are stood a little away from everyone else, watching the scene, their friends, with adoration. Ariana wraps her arms around his waist, and when Niall looks at her, there are tears in her eyes. He winds his arm around her shoulders. "Alright?"

She looks at him tearfully, smile breaking across her face. "Yeah. I'm good."

He kisses her on the mouth once, the forehead twice, pulls her into a hug. She sighs into his neck, thumb rubbing circles into his hip. They stay like that.

\--

It's Monday morning. Niall eases himself out of bed without disturbing the twins and Ariana, gets downstairs in time for the bread delivery. He takes the twins to school this time, lets Ariana open shop.

Zayn and Liam wander in at lunchtime, faces flushed with cold and gloved hands clasped together. Niall serves up their tea and coffee and chats with them for a while until Ariana hits him with a dishcloth and tells him to get back to work. Louis picks up tea cakes for him and Eleanor after his last class of the day, and Harry comes in late afternoon with Isaac in the buggy, looking dishevelled and sleep-deprived (Niall gives him the coffee for free).

When it gets quiet, when the twins are playing in the pantry and Ariana is singing to herself while stacking chairs and cleaning tables, Niall spins her around and says "I love you".

Ariana laughs breathlessly, pulling away from him to continue her task. "I love you too. What's up?"

Niall raises his eyebrows. "Something's up?"

"You've been acting funny all day," Ariana informs him, eyes squinting slightly.

"It's our anniversary in a few months," Niall tells her.

Ariana looks surprised. "God, yeah, seven months." She counts on her fingers, eyes widening. " _Ten years_? Already?"

"I want to do it again," is all Niall says, unable to help himself any longer.

"Do what again?"

Niall doesn't say a word, just gets down on one knee and pulls the ring out his pocket.

Ariana chokes. "Niall -"

"We never did it properly," Niall rushes out. "We got married in a shitty motel in the middle of Boston, no rings, no fancy clothes. You didn't get to buy a dress, we didn't spend a ridiculous amount on buffet food, neither of our families were there, your mother bought us the wedding rings a year later, it wasn't even in a church." He stops to collect himself, takes in the tears on Ariana's face. "I love you," he tells her softly. "I want to wake up with you everyday, I want to grow old with you, I want us to be in our sixties, sat in front of a fire drinking coffee and complaining about our kids and grandkids. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, all of you, the good and the bad parts. Will you marry me, again?"

Ariana doesn't look like she can speak, just grabs his hands wordlessly.

"Love, I know this is a shock, but my knee is killing me, could you -" Niall starts.

Ariana pulls him up and kisses him hard, hands in his hair and tears on her face. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, too," she whispers.

Niall feigns a look of confusion. "So is that a yes?"

Ariana laughs wetly into his mouth, smacking his chest. "Yes, you idiot, yes, of course I'll marry you again."

He slips the ring onto her finger like he hadn't been able to the first time around, presses her against the counter and kisses her again.

He knows it isn't going to be easy, knows Joshua will always be in the back of their minds, know they're always going to have scars that'll never quite heal.

But right now, as they're telling their twin son and daughter that they're getting married again, and yes, Heidi, of course you'll be a bridesmaid, Niall links his hand in Ariana's and genuinely believes, for the first time in a very long time - it'll only get better from here.

**Author's Note:**

> I....yeah I got nothing.
> 
> comments/kudos appreciated!


End file.
